Living in a home - loneliness or new social perspectives?
Lonely or not lonely - that is the question here! And it has to be answered very individually. The extent of our own network, our own sociability and that of our fellow human beings play just as much a role as the frequency and intensity of our contacts and how we perceive these...
Actually, you don't want to think about a home as your actual new home yet. After all, there is still sooo much time until then and who knows if it will even be necessary. Right?
Well, let's look at the situation from the other side: What happens if you don't think about it until you have to? Then you might be under time pressure or even in a bad state. Consequently, you do not consider the many possibilities, especially since some things need a certain lead time and thought processes have to mature; especially when it comes to such an important topic as retirement housing. So the sooner you start dealing with the issue, the better. Even if your level of information does not prove useful for you personally, you may be able to help others with your expertise.
Quality before quantity
Good to know: For most people, it is not the size of the network that is decisive, but the quality of the relationships. Of course, everyone has their own private network, which they have either built up over the course of their lives or in which they are automatically integrated due to family connections. Completely independent of how strong the ties are and whether contacts still exist at all: There is probably no one who really does not know anyone else. However, if these relationships are very loose, we naturally assess them as less important and valuable to us than the relationships within a well-functioning nuclear family or with our best friends. To give a few examples of contacts rated as marginally significant:
- Contact with work colleagues exclusively during work
- Occasional greetings to neighbours in the street
- The annual one-off obligatory visit from the distant nephew
When the home becomes a social upgrade
If you only have loose relationships, moving to a home is unlikely to be a significant change. There, too, the relationships are loose at first. Actually, everything is just as you know it: You say hello to each other, you see each other when you go for a walk or have a coffee together. For someone who was very lonely before, this is already an enormous upgrade - finally being addressed and having contact with other people!
Devaluing the social life in the home is impossible
If you are used to having a strong social network around you, the transition may be different. However, you don't have to worry about replacing your current strong network with a loose one - that would be a noticeable loss of quality! Remember: You are not exchanging your acquaintances, you are adding to them! You keep your existing contacts - to what extent you decide together with the respective persons - and you add new contacts from the home! The following applies: You decide the extent yourself!
A network that is always there
If your personal network from the past is not there so often, you still have the spatial community with the other residents of your institution. It's true that everyone lives for themselves and can be completely private, but depending on their mood, everyone is free to take part in community activities. These are either a fixed offer of the home and are organised there on a regular basis. You are also free to arrange to meet other people out of sympathy, just as you can do outside of the accommodation. Furthermore, in a facility for older people you have the opportunity to socialise outside the facility.
Risk factors for loneliness in the home
A move is sometimes a critical transition - especially when the social fabric changes. Some factors are often cited as possible reasons for loneliness in residential care. A study on loneliness in residential care, which is highly recommended if you want to study the topic in depth, distinguishes between personal factors and those given by the home and the type of accommodation itself. We explain the two factors, at least to some extent. Because if you know the danger, you can counteract it!
Personal risk factors for loneliness in the home
- Frustration due to lack of movement leads to a feeling of being "locked in".
- It takes time to make new contacts
- Friends and family come to visit less often than you would like
- The move to the home is unplanned and not well thought out
Factors related to accommodation that promote loneliness
- People with personality-altering illnesses make it difficult for you to get along with them
- The leisure activities on offer contradict your tastes and you opt out of them
- Lack of tasks and the feeling of being superfluous
- As a former owner of the flat, you feel restricted due to low influence
