Speed dating - new acquaintances in no time at all
Speed dating is something that is often attributed more to the younger age groups. Wrongly so. This modern form of getting to know each other actually found its start with younger people, but is now generally established. For example, there are now also speed dating rounds that are intended for specific age groups, so that you will definitely meet people of the right age there. The model offers a different way of getting to know each other than the classic places.
What is speed dating actually?
In general, speed dating is a way of getting to know other people and finding out within a very short time whether the other person shares the same interests or whether you are at least on a similar wavelength. If the person you're talking to doesn't turn out to be the right one, you often notice that right at the beginning and you're not obliged to kill another hour on a boring date until you're allowed to say goodbye.
As the name suggests, speed dating is about meeting and speed. The time and space frame is predefined. The participants do not have to worry about the location, the organisation or other participants. A speed dating event is set by an organiser. This can be professional speed dating agencies, an additional offer of a normal dating agency or simply one offered by other organisers such as VHS, clubs or privately. Contrary to popular belief, speed dating is not exclusively for finding a life partner. Although this is often understood and conceived as such, partners with the same interests should generally find each other, regardless of how one defines 'partner'. While most people use speed dating to look for a life partner, there are also dating rounds for acquaintances and friendships of a general nature or even to find a travel partner or a sex partner (even employers and landlords have discovered this principle to filter applicants).
Short and crisp
Of course, in the few minutes you have available, you can't unpack your whole life story and you can't get it from your counterpart. It's all about the famous first impression plus a few nice sentences with a few key data. Sympathy is often decided in just a few seconds. In the short time of 5 to 8 minutes you should also have found out whether you have common interests and whether your mutual interest is great enough that you would like to go on a 'proper' date.
What am I supposed to talk about at speed dating?
The experiment of an American psychologist (Dr. Arthur Aron) proved that sympathy, if not deeper feelings, can be easily 'manufactured' with the right questions. His catalogue of questions comprised 36 questions, they ranged from initially superficial things to later quite intimate questions. This experiment worked when the questions were answered honestly and the test persons looked into each other's eyes for a few minutes.
Of course, speed dating is not about working through a catalogue of questions, especially since this does not necessarily reflect one's own interests, what one would like to ask and what one is interested in from the other person. In the short time available, questions should be asked that are not too intimate, but at the same time give an indication of whether we are on the same wavelength. Open questions (i.e. not ones that can only be answered with yes or no) are useful. However, the recommendation to give honest answers is up to date - after all, it is about deciding whether you want to meet again and that is best decided on the basis of honest statements.
Questions you can ask your counterpart with a clear conscience
- How do you spend your evenings/weekends?
- What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
- Cinema or theatre, which do you prefer?
- Where would you like to spend your holidays?
- Have you lived here for a long time?
- What kind of music can inspire you?
- What is your favourite food?
What comes next?
Once you have completed the rounds, the organiser will evaluate the answers and pass on the contact details of those matings who have both indicated that they would like to meet again. Then you can plan a 'real' meeting together and can relax in the knowledge that you will meet someone who also wants to see you again and that you have probably already made a good first impression.
