How the older generation holds society together
When one's own children become parents, there is great joy among the new generation of grandparents. Today, it is often an almost insurmountable task for young parents to reconcile work and family life. Often both parents have to go back to work soon. Any help is gladly accepted. Unlike in the 1980s, for example, it is no longer so easy for one parent to stay at home with the children. One's own parents, some of whom have not yet reached retirement age themselves, then become real treasures. They can organise, have a wealth of experience, have proven their abilities as educators, are caring and, in the best case, give unconditional love and above all time. After all, who could bring up their own children better than their own parents? Many things about them may not have suited the young parents, but who would claim that mum and dad raised you to be a bully or an egoist who can't find his way in society? Exactly. When there is a baby on the way, parents and grandparents often can't wait to see when the little one will finally see the light of day. The anticipation also has a financial impact on young parents.
From the first equipment to the first car - this is how generous grandparents are today
According to a study, senior citizens are extremely generous. Not only in terms of the time they like to spend with their grandchildren. They also help their children financially - and not too little. The average monthly support that 65- to 85-year-olds gave their children was 157 euros per month in 2013. According to an extrapolation, this results in a money transfer of around 9.7 billion euros per year - not even counting inheritances and early gifts. Many grandparents also set up savings accounts for their grandchildren and thus build a foundation for the time when the youngest members of the family also go their own way and can make good use of a moped, a car or simply a deposit and a move as well as the first month's rent.
Many possibilities for support
Listening and being there for their children account for the largest share of support for their children and grandchildren (66 percent). This is followed by inviting them to dinner (58 percent), giving them good advice (53 percent) and looking after their grandchildren and great-grandchildren (47 percent). However, regular financial support, standing in when a child or grandchild is ill, help with larger purchases, minor work and repairs in the house and flat as well as helping with the household and garden are also highly rated, followed by joint holidays and holiday trips, running errands and shopping, letting people live for free and help with homework.
Special needs for single-parent families
However, the services of the older generation are in particular demand not only when both parents have to work, but also especially for single-parent families. This is a factor that should not be underestimated, since every fifth child today grows up in a single-parent family. These children would be denied weekly training at the sports club in the neighbouring town or many leisure activities. Grandmothers and/or grandfathers are also happy to help out during holiday periods when childcare is needed, and although there are a large number of public, but fee-paying, facilities with qualified staff, this is still the parents' favourite way to provide their children with a familiar environment, lovingly prepared lunches and attention to individual needs. Single parents who live far from their families and have to struggle to make ends meet are hit particularly hard. The only thing that helps is a good network of other parents and single parents to be able to work and earn a living at all.
Multigenerational houses meet the need for the extended family
But even if no offspring are expected in one's own family, seniors find ways to procure a substitute extended family. Multigenerational houses have mushroomed in recent years. There, several generations live together under one roof, like a real extended family, but at the same time everyone has their own living area to which they can retreat. More than 540 houses are participating in the federal multigenerational house programme. Their core is the open meeting place, for example in a café or in storytelling salons. These meeting places would be inconceivable without the commitment of volunteers.
In multigenerational houses there are many care, learning and creative offers for children and young people, further education courses for (re-)entering the labour market, support offers for people in need of care and their relatives, language courses for migrants and much more. In this way, multigenerational houses become a reliable and competent partner in all situations of life. Together with full-time staff, many volunteers shape life in the houses, thanks to their commitment, for example, as lend-lease grandparents, in computer tutoring or in implementing an intergenerational theatre project. Multigenerational houses are therefore a contact point for all those who want to contribute their skills and talents and be there for others. Without this commitment, especially from the older generation, which has a lot of experience and increasingly more time for free creativity, a multigenerational house would be nothing but an empty shell.
The coexistence of generations requires a willingness to compromise - from all generations
But how can the coexistence of several generations under one roof or even in a family with several households run smoothly? Some younger as well as older citizens may still have the quarrels of puberty in their bones. What is needed here above all is the willingness to compromise - otherwise quarrels will quickly arise and, in the worst case, even separation. It's all too familiar: grandparents bring up their grandchildren far too generously in the eyes of the children, if one can speak of education at all. In the eyes of the parents, the children are far too strict in dealing with the family chicks. When three generations want to live together under one roof, it is of great benefit to all concerned. It saves costs and nerves - unless there is a lack of willingness to compromise and tolerance. But the parties don't all have to move under one roof for this to happen: It should be a matter of course for all those involved in relationships that tolerance and a willingness to compromise are what make harmonious coexistence possible in the first place. The older generation is well prepared for this: After all, it is they who have to step in when the younger ones have problems with time or nerves. They have the upper hand. However, to ensure that everyone gets along well with each other and to avoid arguments, grandma and/or grandpa are allowed to turn a blind eye to the perhaps chaotic household, then nothing can go wrong.
