As reluctant as one may be to think about a funeral - organisational know-how eases the bureaucracy in the event of a bereavement
Death is a topic that is often suppressed in today's society. Yet it is part of life. In some cases, people can accompany their loved ones on their final journey. This is what palliative care is for. Anyone looking for palliative care for themselves or their relatives will find what they are looking for on the pages of the German Society for Palliative Medicine. It offers a guide to hospice and palliative care services throughout Germany.
When death has occurred, relatives need to keep a cool head. It doesn't matter whether the loss of a loved one has already been announced for a long time because of a serious illness, or whether someone suddenly passes away. However, a death within the family is also associated with a lot of bureaucracy and a number of organisational duties. What is allowed, contrary to general opinion, and also makes it easier for children to say goodbye to a deceased person, is the laying out of the deceased at home.
The doctor or emergency service issues the death certificate
First of all, the family doctor or the family medical emergency service must issue the death certificate. The deceased is washed, shaved, combed and personal clothing is put on. This is usually done by the nursing service, which has been coming to the home for weeks or months in the case of the seriously ill. After being laid out, the deceased usually looks more peaceful than the dying person. The oxygen device, feeding tube or infusion are gone, the struggle is over. Now relatives and friends can say goodbye in familiar surroundings, touch the deceased once more, place something personal in the coffin and realise that the deceased will not wake up again.
The law even allows this. In most federal states, laying out at home is allowed for up to 36 hours (in Saxony and Brandenburg 24 hours are allowed, in Thuringia 48, in Bavaria there is no time limit).
From the occurrence of the bereavement until after the funeral/burial
There are a number of checklists on the Internet on what needs to be done from the time of the bereavement until after the funeral or burial. The following are the most important steps in brief:
1. Immediately after the occurrence of the death:
- The relatives must notify a doctor so that he or she can officially establish the death and issue a death certificate.
- Inform the closest relatives and discuss further steps.
- Find important documents such as identity card, birth certificate, marriage certificate, etc.
- Look forcontracts and dispositions of the deceased and act accordingly (is there a will, a contract of provision with a funeral home, a declaration of intent for cremation or similar)? 2.
2. within the permitted period for laying out the body
- Take care of the home, including turning off gas, water and electricity, taking care of pets and plants.
- Select a funeral home
- Check the funeral contract and the funeral director - which tasks will be taken over by the funeral director?
- Selecting the coffin/ urn, funeral clothes, scope of the funeral service, etc.
- Collecting the deceased and transferring the body to a mortuary
- Notify the registry office of the death and have a death certificate issued.
- Submit a will to the probate court
- Notify: Health insurance, life and accident insurance, parish office (if church assistance is desired), employer of the deceased, acquaintances and relatives.
3. until the funeral service and burial
- Decide on the form of burial
- Select cemetery and grave - Acquire or extend grave usage rights
- Arrange an appointment with the cemetery owner
- In the case of cremation, obtain permission from the crematorium.
- Arrange appointment with priest or funeral orator and mourning talk
- Drawing up the obituary and sending out the funeral cards
- Order grave decorations for the mourning hall and grave from the nursery
- Reserve a restaurant for the funeral service
4. after the funeral service
- Send thank-you cards or place thank-you advertisement in newspaper
- Cancel current payments and terminate contracts, memberships, rent, subscriptions and, and, and
- Deregister with insurance companies, pension and health insurance funds, companies, authorities and offices
- Create a file with important documents such as death certificate, use and care of graves, statements of account
- if necessary, vacate the flat
- Apply for a certificate of inheritance at the probate court after the reading of the will.
- after about six weeks, clean up the grave and organise grave maintenance
- After about six months, entrust a stonemason with the grave bordering and gravestone design.
What does a funeral cost? - Comparison is worthwhile
The total costs for a funeral in Germany range from 2,000 euros (cheapest anonymous cremation) and 35,000 euros for an upscale burial. Stiftung Warentest recommends comparing the prices of providers, as this is not impious. Grief and exhaustion impair the power of judgement - all the more important, they say, is a precise examination of the offers. A detailed cost estimate is the least you can expect from an undertaker - without one, you should not even hire him. It is good to seek advice from several funeral homes as early as possible - of course, this is only possible when a death is imminent.
Decide for yourself about your own funeral or cremation
If you want to save your relatives a lot of paperwork and difficult decisions, you can make many preparations while you are still alive and, for example, specify in a [nbsp]handwritten power of attorney what kind of funeral you want. With a contract of provision with a funeral director, one can determine the procedure, scope and personal wishes for the funeral. However, Stiftung Warentest strongly advises against paying in advance because the money would be lost if the undertaker goes bankrupt. It is better to deposit the money in a trust account, for example with Deutsche Bestattungsvorsorge Treuhand.
What types of burial are there?
A distinction is made between burial in a coffin and burial in an urn. In the case of a burial in the ground, a coffin is buried in a cemetery. If an urn is buried in a cemetery, this is called cremation. Urn burials are also possible in the forest or at sea. In a so-called cemetery forest, the deceased can be buried anonymously and without a gravestone or grave border; there is also the option of a small sign commemorating the deceased. While burial in the ground is still the most common type of burial, but cremation is increasingly in demand, there is still a whole range of alternative burial options.
One of these is diamond burial, where part of the ashes are pressed into a commemorative diamond. However, the majority of the ashes are buried in a cemetery, in the forest or at sea. An alternative to forest burial is the so-called Tree of Life burial. Here, the ashes of the deceased are picked up by the roots of a memorial tree. This is then planted at a personal memorial site. In air burial, the ashes are scattered from the air by a plane or helicopter over the sea. Destinations that the deceased would have liked to visit during his or her lifetime are the stations of his or her urn in a round-the-world burial. In addition, there is also the alpine meadow or rock burial, the waterfall burial or air and river burial.
