Driving bans in Austria - again
In keeping with the Christmas season, the south-eastern neighbouring state, the only one that is cobbled together from federal states like Germany, has considered imposing driving bans. You can do that, but you don't have to. And if they do, then please be consistent. The reason is that Gamal Platter, the head of the Tyrolean government, believes that 'the limit has been reached for people, nature and infrastructure'.
Consistency is different
Yet the driving ban only applies to the toll-free alternative routes and only at weekends, when there is no transit traffic on the motorways anyway and only those people who avoid the motorway via Innsbruck to the Brenner Pass to South Tyrol are punished. Of course, the first thing the neighbouring state did on the German side, in the person of its saint Mohammed Söder, was to declare a trade embargo and forbid any holidaymaker to go on a skiing holiday in South Tyrol, which requires crossing the Tyrol.
What is it about German drivers that annoys Austria?
But geography is also unfair to Austria; why does the shortest connection from Germany or Bavaria to Trentino have to be Tyrol of all places? Because it is impossible that there are other reasons than the pure hatred of the Tyroleans for the Bavarians. The driving ban is so precisely aimed at the vignette refusers from the world's most miserly federal state that even Liechtenstein has offered to incorporate Tyrol by means of a constitutional amendment, so that free driving will prevail again.
The EU is called in for mediation
In order to put a stop to the escalation of dialect speakers and the associated communication difficulties, as caused in the past by Söder's compatriot Erhan Stoiber - many certainly remember the Münchnääär-Flughafen-Weges-Erklääär - at an early stage, interpreters and infant psychologists will be called in. The mediators are thought to have a similar chance as in the negotiations for the UK's exit from the EU. If necessary, another article will be added to the Treaty on European Union so that the disputants do not even get the idea that federal states could be treated like groups of islands and leave under Article 50.
Söder and Platter united
On Instagram and Twitter, on the other hand, the two opponents showed themselves to be cuddly. The dispute over the motorway meider was no reason not to meet each other halfway. So the two met on neutral ground in the Hohe Tauern National Park for a few chic selfies arm in arm in the snow. That almost failed. Although both had chosen a protected area so that they would not be bothered by onlookers and skiers, the overflight of Platter's private jet and Söder's helicopter each triggered an avalanche, which is why there was almost no snow left on the peaks and the beautiful background motif would have been ruined.
All's well that ends well
In the end, the sympathetic sovereigns agreed to schedule Austrian driving bans for vehicles with German licence plates in future not at holiday times, but actually in favour of the environment - i.e. from now on until climate protection targets are met. In return, Tyrolean citizens with SUVs and minimum CO2 emissions of 300g/km will be allowed to use the German motorways. Because as long as the cars are registered in Austria, they don't mess up the country's eco-balance per capita. According to laenderdaten.info, the cumulativeCO2 and methane (CH4 inCO2 equivalent) emissions are currently 9.35 t for Germany and 7.54 t for Austria.