Exclusive interview with an underestimated virus
Mrs Influenza, I may call you that after all; thank you very much for taking the time.
Thank you, Mr. Reporter. You know, I have a lot of time on my hands at the moment, people are ignoring me, even though I have given everything again this winter.
Yes, the statistics speak for themselves. But the RKI (Robert Koch Institute, higher federal authority, editor's note) is still withholding the current figures, do you have an explanation?
Indeed; after my last great seasonal achievements in 1995/96, when more than every tenth German was infected and 30,000 deaths were due to me, and in 2004/05, with still more than 6 million infections in Germany and 20,000 deaths - mind you, with a disease against which one can be vaccinated - interest declined more and more, because every year a new virus appears.
The reason is certainly also the current competition at home; the lung disease Covid19 is currently getting a lot of attention.
This does not explain why I have had my day as a real epidemic, after all, I come with full force every year, and every 20th person who died from my work in Germany was vaccinated.
Do you have any sympathy for the emerging SARS-CoV2?
Oh, I don't think it can be seriously dangerous to me, look, I've been haunting people for hundreds of years, and this measly virus is only in its first season. A few years ago (2003/04, years are not so important to the old lady, editor's note), the first coronavirus already tried it, a measly 800 dead or so, and that too only locally, just like MERS afterwards, these are not epidemics, in contrast, cholera was way ahead in Hamburg back then, when the eponym of today's institute made his grand entrance.
But you admit that the new development did it better than the first one?
Clearly, but as I said, to match my performance or that of smallpox (500 million cases from 1900-1980), let alone HIV (38.5 million infections since 1980, 1.7 million new infections in 2018; 780,000 deaths), the little guy does lack punch.
Can you imagine signing him and training him?
It would be a real challenge, but I think people's lungs are not big enough for the two of us.
Our readers are particularly interested in ageing, are you familiar with this?
With Jungsprunt, it is supposed to mainly affect the elderly and people with pre-existing conditions, I cannot confirm this from my experience. Balanced diet and lifestyle protects against the effects of me and all other lung diseases.
*coughs
Oh, are you infected by me?
Nono, it's just a flu-like infection that people like to confuse with you or severe acute respiratory syndrome (SARS).
So there you have it, 'severe' is the key word; how can a virus that causes mild to no symptoms in most cases be classified as a hazard by the WHO?
It may be because of the spread, WHO may have extrapolated the numbers from Wuhan, and because in most parts of the world medical care is not set up to deal with it.
*laughs* Yes, but that should be settled by now, please, what kind of governments are acting when they just accept me in contrast? I am also transmitted via droplet infection, have more severe course and even higher infection numbers towards the end of my season.
I agree, but how do you see the situation in Sweden? Are they better prepared there?
In part. One aspect of not restricting public life is based on herd immunity, which only works if social contacts are continued and measures are not taken that have the opposite effect. An example of this is the short infection paths in nursing homes. Leaving people alone and not letting their families join them not only contradicts all human emotion, but also ratio.
So is the hype about social distancing nonsense?
Not at all. The low number of severe cases and deaths in Germany is due to the disgust of physical closeness and the therefore basically high level of hygiene, which is a problem in countries like Italy and Spain, which place a higher value on family, have more physical contact and, due to overall higher temperatures, also have less immune power against colds.
And of course this is only useful if there is widespread health care and not, as in the USA, only the privileged can claim it, which is now falling on their feet, even though they are so far ahead in research.
But what about Scandinavia?
Exactly, and the other aspect is the philosophy of life. In a country with a high suicide rate because of the long winters, the psychological effects of such restrictions are fatal. But we know that from governments, that people's psyche is taken out of the equation. When the economy is doing well, no one thinks about the fact that people's happiness is the most valuable factor. Norway, for example, has piloted an unconditional basic income for welfare recipients. As a result, figures were presented that the number of people taking up jobs did not increase significantly, because that was not the reason why more jobs were available, but the psychologically positive effect of not having to worry every day was simply forgotten.
They provide the template for the closing words: do we have to worry?
Most certainly, but not about Corona. And my season is over anyway.
So will we see them again next winter when Corona is history?
I promise.
The conversation was of course conducted and recorded in compliance with all hygiene regulations and distance rules. The reporter kept a distance of 2 m from the keyboard while writing and had his back turned.
About the interview participants:
Ms Influenza is actually a neutron, not to be confused with other small particles like neutrinos or something. She is known to cause severe respiratory illness, which is why CoronaVirus-2 is compared to her. Among other things, it had supporting roles in the play My Fair Lady (Eliza Doolittle's monologue 'My aunt died of influenza, so they said ...') and was previously considered the most dangerous epidemic cause after developing and emerging countries were also included in the statistics(according to the medical journal) and smallpox, plague and cholera were said to have been eliminated, although 880 million people still have no access to clean drinking water.
The interviewer is himself an avowed friend of all respiratory diseases and therefore an ideal interlocutor for viruses and other weapons of mass destruction. He conducted the interview in his home office, in the spirit of the illegally established social distancing.