Breathing through every crisis - one hour less of fresh air
No one knows why the toilet paper is not scarce or why the Bundesliga and French Open are postponed, because concern for the spectators (not going to the toilet) cannot be it. Most people sit at home in front of the TV anyway and would never think of going to a stadium or even an event that not only costs kinetic energy but also money. It's true that television also costs money, the broadcasting company has just raised its prices again, of course without citing the fallen price of oil as the reason, but that comes out of the account and doesn't have to be taken out of the pocket manually and put into the hand of an infected cashier.
Germany and its sanitary products, a never-ending love story
Now that all the world's problems have fallen victim to the media virus - neither are there starving people in Africa, refugees at European borders, warm winters or melting glaciers, nor unexpected sightings of the Loch Ness monster - Putin, Erdogan and Trump are annoyed beyond measure because they are no longer top of the news in the most important country in the world. At least the orange-haired old man is keeping himself in business with his offer to buy the Tübingen-based serum company for a billion. It is natural for a statesman of stature and foresight to implement the slogan 'America first' in this way and to land 20,000 tanks on the coast of northern Germany, which of course has no connection, nor do the telephone calls with the Ukrainian head of state.
But people are tired of following the bullshit, even the Bild newspaper has been trying to avoid words like Covid19, Sars-CoV2 (which are difficult to read for Bild readers anyway), Corona or Panik in its headlines since Monday and is desperately looking for other entertaining disasters. Even the viral disease caught by Fatim Merz in an Austrian brothel takes a back seat to the important things: how much toilet paper does every household need to feel safe?
Current studies prove: 12 years for pulp products are minimum
The calculation is based on decades of research in diarrhoea and origami. For financially worse-off households, a lifting of the building restrictions is therefore intended to remedy the situation: every broken house can be given a bay window in which the rolls can be stored. Verification that the extension is indeed only for storing two-layers (three-layers would be too expensive) is envisaged once an agreement has been reached with the railways that ticket checks will not be resumed and the staff finally freed up can be used for this once they are freed from curfew monitoring.
What about summer time?
Lest the most important change in the EU so far be forgotten: the time change will also be postponed, but not by the average of one year, so that the infection of the timepieces will survive the quarantine in any case, but by exactly one hour. Instead of two in the morning, the clocks will not be set forward by one hour until three on the last weekend in March. The clock ministers discussed this safely in a video conference and found an agreement that the missing hour would not fall in the time of sunrise. The impact on the population would thus be minimised. It's too bad that in the self-imagined crisis surrounding a cold virus, no one else has given a thought to the people. Economic aid is promised by the billions, but no one has considered whether the individual worker facing economic ruin because of unpaid leave does not know whether he can still repair his watch or has to spend on toilet paper.