Speed limit - Not with us!
"We see our supposed fundamental right being massively questioned. We will not put up with this! This was the unmistakable message of a raging crowd that had paralysed the A1 motorway towards Bremen for hours. And this during rush hour. Thousands had followed their calls on social media. Together, the friends of fast driving wanted to protest against the impending speed limit on German motorways. "We are all fighting for our right to continue to drive as fast as we want!" the spokesman yelled into the crowd from the roof of his Porsche. The masses cheered.
US President takes a stand
They received support from the lobbyists of the car industry - quite self-serving, of course. High-ranking board members of BMW, VW, Mercedes and Audi did not miss the opportunity to be there. The opposite lane was specially closed for them. No one had expected such a big crowd, but beer and sausage stands were quickly organised. The media also arrived with a huge contingent of vehicles and press. This extraordinary event was broadcast live on TV. Famous racing drivers as well as countless car sport lovers also spoke out via Facebook: "Guys, you have our full support!" And President Trump tweeted: "Keep it up!"
Protesters propose counter-draft
The president of the car industry gave a glowing speech: "My friends, only together we create value. We know our consumers' wishes too well. Our economy is experiencing an upswing right now and we are making sure it stays that way. Everyone should have the right to a high-horsepower car. The car must remain a status symbol, otherwise what are we working for?"
The crowd cheered him euphorically. The spokesman for the demonstrators thanked them and then addressed his fans again: "Brothers, we all love fast cars, so let's not let them rob us of our passion. Not by these eco-fuzzies! Besides, statistics prove that a speed limit doesn't help at all. And seriously, who is causing the traffic accidents on the motorways? Isn't it the over-cautious creepers, the anxious housewives and the many old people? Wouldn't it be safer to put up road signs saying Caution! Grandpa in a hat? Surely more effective than a speed limit. Hence our demand to the government: a strict motorway ban for all vehicles under 120 hp. Those who absolutely want to drive slowly should better use the country roads. This is the only way to avoid obstructing the flow of traffic. And the statement that CO 2 emissions will drop if you reduce the speed stinks big time. If a speed limit is introduced, there will be even more Sunday drivers on Germany's motorways. The result would be that the values would rise. Besides, this country needs real men, not soft-headed eco-men. An engine should roar, an exhaust must roar, so that you can feel the vibration of the horsepower numbers under your bum."
He then addresses the many demonstrators, "Let's face it, what sexy lady would be impressed by an electric car?"
After the shrieking has finally ended, he continues, "We won't let our image be ruined. We'll fight for it to the bitter end if we have to!"