The last great run
Instead of making the traffic light phases at pedestrian crossings, which last almost 10 seconds, even longer, seniors may rather "train the physical prerequisites for crossing the streets safely", was the statement of our Minister of Transport. That means, in plain language: older people should do fitness in order to cross the road faster. He would certainly not have dreamed that this sentence would trigger a real fitness boom. I was given the task by my editorial team to really get to the bottom of the new fitness hype, so I was sent directly to the front with a microphone and chamber man.
Adrenaline rushes galore!
"Traffic light junkies" is the name of an adrenaline-fuelled oldie running group of advanced age. "I can cross this pedestrian traffic light in under 8 seconds," one of them gasped directly into the camera, on the verge of collapse, but with his fist raised high. Curious, three over-80s ladies in Jane Fonda memorial outfits joined them. "We've finally freed ourselves from our grey compression stockings," the combative ladies shout and present their self-knitted, pink cuffs with their tight-fitting aerobics suits. "I'm fucked and ready, but doing is everything!" one of them, obviously of Asian origin, moans spontaneously into the camera. Much to the delight of the old men, as we can now easily see from their baggy shorts. Goodbye Viagra, long live sport! When I ask them why they are still doing this, they answer as if in chorus: "We want to be fit for the last big run!
Protein and vitamin drinks also play a role
When the traffic light turns green, we quickly say goodbye to the group because there is a food truck on the other side of the road that we want to take a closer look at. While my younger colleagues sprint light-footedly ahead, I barely reach the curb before a speeding car can run my ass off. The owner of the truck tells me that, thanks to Scheuer's fitness idea, his business is now booming. "What do you offer the old people?", I want to know. "Only healthy food. All organic, of course, and vegan. Then protein and vitamin drinks. Of course, the dishes are also pureed on request." Our next stop is the nearby city park. Here, special courses for sport-infused seniors have recently been offered. Kling, klang, bowl therapy, gymnastics, floor gymnastics, bodybuilding and yoga with and without a goat. "Hey? Goats?" "Yes, the goats help to uncover age-old blockages," explains the completely wacky yoga instructor.
An old lady expresses her opinion
Slightly confused, we set off for my grandmother's house, as the old lady also belongs to the target group and does not live far away. Fortunately, my fear that she will mistake me for a grandchild trickster again does not come true. Instead, she surprises us with a bile-green smoothie as a welcome drink. "Drink boys! And you Peter, ne Klaus, eh... Fritz? You too, of course! This stuff really gets the grey brain cells going!" "Grandma, my name is Benno!" "Benno?" "Yes, Benno!" "How time flies. Yesterday you were such a cute little rug rat!" When my colleagues have finally laughed it off, I ask my grandma if she knows about the new fitness craze. She answers me indignantly, "Well tell me Fritz, do you think maybe I'm from the day before yesterday?" Then she proudly presents us with her new rollator. "It's been souped up now, from 0 to 100 in 8 seconds, so I'm well equipped for the fight at the pedestrian lights," she says. We would have liked to stay a little longer, but time is short and we still have an appointment with the Minister of Transport.
"I never expected my proposal to make such big waves," says the minister as he pats his elderly mother's hand affectionately. "You must be proud of your son, aren't you?" I ask the delightful old lady in front of me. But she suddenly withdraws her hand from her son and replies mockingly, "Do you young people seriously think you can run away from ageing just because you treat it so disrespectfully?"