The wish for a white Christmas
Since the beginning of weather recording in Germany 7 1/2 years ago, December temperatures have successively developed further and further. The Family, Social Defence and Weather Ministers from Schleswig-Holstein and Baden-Württemberg, together with the Free States of Mallorca and Ibiza, have therefore launched an initiative to move the White Christmas to Easter.
Why is that?
Meteorologically, it is called a white Christmas if there is at least 1 cm of snow from noon on Christmas Eve until 2:15 pm on Christmas Day. The probability of this applying to Good Friday to Easter Monday is much higher, even if it requires one more day of temperatures around freezing point with previous precipitation.
The culprit for these weather capers is quickly identified: global warming. Even if the term means as much as ice skates, it is incredibly popular with those who complain about the weather anyway because there is simply nothing else to complain about. The socialists complain about the labour market, the ecologists about traffic jams on the motorways and the vegans about meat prices. All that remains for the decent bourgeois is to complain about something that the individual, as part of the capitalist-imperialist system, can do nothing about.
The fact that weather and climate are two different things and that everyone must agree with the orange man with squirrel on his head that climate change is a problem of the earth outside the US and not its presidency distracts from the nonsense of the term. Less than a billion years ago, the last time all life on Earth was wiped out - older TV viewers will remember, it was reported live on public television at the time - no one complained that it had been getting warmer for a few years before that either.
It's a case of close your eyes and get through it.
The meteorologists have no reason to lie to us. Even if we don't remember what the weather was really like, we know for sure that back then we could go sledding from December to February, that mulled wine events were guaranteed to take place on frozen lakes, and that at Carnival and Fasching there was beautiful sunshine again.
The culprit no. 2
Besides the inevitable climate catastrophe, Martin Luther is to blame for everything. He found the concept of giving presents on the name day of St. Nicholas as a symbol of uselessness and celebrating until the Immaculate Conception on 8 December impossible and in 37 of his theses advocated establishing the pagan winter solstice as a kick-off date with two days of eating. In doing so, he benefited from the fact that no date is mentioned in the operating instructions for Christians. The fact that the shepherds were with their sheep in the field and that a census was unpopular even without a winter travel effort was, after all, only established afterwards, after Luther's translation was allowed to be read.
White Christmas adé
So the idea of a white Christmas was nonsensical from the start. And if a beverage manufacturer hadn't created a man with a white beard and polar bear fur in his red coat as an advertising figure for the festival of love, we could also celebrate Christmas today at the end of September, for example, but then not as the birth of Jesus, but to end summertime, which we have wanted more than anything else for generations. The colour of the celebration would then be corn sun yellow; that fits much better than snow white or mud brown. The date would also make the holiday marathon until the Three Wise Men less tedious, because the New Year's Eve fireworks would then also be lit on the last weekend in September to drive out the evil spirits of the time change.